Just another day in paradise

generic post title

right - so I was supposed to post a few days ago. My bad. My bad.  what can I say - blah blah work, blah blah French classes, blah blah LUSH, blah blah colonic, blah blah spending time with Paul blah, blah, blah. But what matters is that I am here now!  By the way, have you lost weight - you are looking fabulous (flattery will get me everywhere!!)

Last night, Rich and I drained several pitchers of sangria at Moody's.  There were multiple highlights of the evening - plenty of snorts, discussion of life and what is it really all about, flying onion rings and above all drunk tweeting/texting - oye.

So - what you have all been asking about - my colonic.  I am actually surprised at the separate emails I recieved about the procedure - so here it is - read at your own peril. So I show up at the office and filled out all these forms about me.  One I had to answer questions to determine what body type I was - Vata, Pitta or Kapha (link here) Turns out I am a Kapha - no big shocker when you read the description.  Then I met with the colon cleaner and we discussed the recent blood clot and how it has affected my diet and exercise.  Then......I undressed (dum dum DUUUUMMMMMMMM).

so they have you climb on this table that is heated (that was nice) gave me a nice tummy rub (that was nice - though it did make me feel rather like a jello mold), then...well then they had me roll on my side and things were - ahem - inserted.  During the entire process somewhere between 14-20 GALLONS of water are flushed through the colon.  That is a lot of water - and a weird feeling - esp when they do "flushes" which is similar to turning the tap on full throttle.  I was able to watch most of what was coming out - and it was a lot of water - not the abundant waste show I was expecting...could it be that I was not as full of shit as I thought I was?  At the end, I was a little wiped (pun not intended - but I am keeping it) they gave me some pro biotic pills and some electrolytes.  So did I lose any weight - nope.  Did my boobs get smaller? Yes (I swear - can't figure it out, but they did) Did I have more energy, less bloat and overall good experience - yes.  Would I do it again - yes, for sure....I mean I literally had to hold still for 30 minutes - when do I ever do that?

And there you go.

For those who know - the Lovely Lisa is doing Ok after her car accident this afternoon - the Universe was looking out for her.

Ass-tounding!!!

Not only is this my 700th post - but I have finally signed up to do something that I have been REALLY wanting to do for a while.  I am going to get a colonic!!  Ha. Seriously, I've been facinated with them since I saw Dave Navarro and Carmen Electra get one before their wedding (thank you MTV).  Now no nay saying going on please - it is time that I get rid of 1993's Christmas Dinner.  I've listed to all your arguments, consulted a physician and dietitian....and have been told doing this once or twice a year is fine.  And since I am not an addictive person (at least when it comes to shoving things up my ass) I have complete faith that I will not become a colonic junkie. And if I do, I have no doubt that you all will let me know.

I am watching, as I type, "Supersize Me".....I am at Day 21 and am still not grossed out or turned off by fast food....I know I should be....I should be horrified....however, I keep thinking how good the Big Mac looks.  Of course, I also eat about 4 a year - so it's not like I am there every day - anymore.  I am seriously bummed that I didn't gag even once.  What is wrong with me???

Tomorrow is Friday - not sure how this week flew by so fast...but it did.  I will report in this weekend after my first French class.  And to all those that have been in the hospital over the past few weeks that I have been out of town - stop it!!  STOP IT!!  Get yourselves well and out of there.

Oh and just for the record - in the past week, I have heard two different stories involving little boys and their twig/berries....both extreamly funny stories - just say the words memis and tick dick to me and I will most likely snort or spew coffee.

If you seek...well, me!

hey there faithful readers - I am back from my duo whirlwind trips to California.  The past few days have been very calm since I was with my very very very preggers college roommate.  With the help of her husband and a few friends, I was able to surprise her (thankfully, her water didn't break!) Wednesday morning - and we did a lot of sitting around and napping - something we both needed!!  In fact at one point she told me how proud she was that I wasn't checking my work email or getting calls from the office (ok I was checking my work email - but I didn't want to burst her bubble and cause early labor)  Pictures will be posted tomorrow because, frankly, I am do damn lazy to get the camera out of my bag.  If you are reading this and thinking hey - wtf - I'm in CA and she didn't see me....I am sorry - between closing the OC office and relaxing with soon to be expelled baby, my gallivanting was very limited.  Never fear, I should be back later in the year to see my little wubba.

Fireworks are currently being ignited all around me, but I can't see a lot of them - I can here them though - nothing more frustrating than hearing, but not seeing.  You know - it's like a big explosive tease. But on a nice July 4th note, I heard today from my ootka currently in Georgia for officer training....it was the perfect end to a great vacation.

Now that I am home, and don't have any travel plans for the rest of the summer, I am putting myself on detox (currently trying to finish my tub of ice cream as i write this - please forgive the misspelled words, the ice cream is melting and making a mess)  When I say detox, I don't mean those things where you drink powdered drinks that taste a bit like ass...no I mean that I am cutting the refined sugar, red meat, gluten and cow dairy out of my world again.  Of course, while I am still on blood thinners, I have to stay clear of soy and it's products, broccoli and spinach.  Side Note: the other night, while having dinner with Andrea, Mark and Barbie at Islands....I had to have the cheese fries people - had to.....anyway, Barbie got the side of steamed broccoli and let me tell you  - it smelled effin' good people!!!  Andrea, later told me that I was very obviously staring at it...sigh, oh broccoli.

Ok, so the rest of the summer watch me go!!  Healthy eating 101 is going to bring Sarah Back!! Wooooo!!  Come on people let's get pumped (clap) up!